Last night was a late night. Usually this would have been a typical Tuesday. Work, then Momo, then Dinner, then World of Warcraft for 3 hours. By and large yesterday was like any other ordinary day. Work was–work. Momo went potty like a good boy so that was a bonus. Dinner was amazing! I found this great recipe for Pinto Bean Chili (vegan style) that was out of sight. The problems started with World of Warcraft when I logged in to start up the day’s raiding.

The first sign of problems came at the very start of the raid night. It turned out that the raid leader and main tank was in the process of moving and wouldn’t be on this week for raids. Additionally we found out that one of the core healers would not be online due to computer problems that they were having. So this meant right off the bat we were down a tank and a heals and nobody to formally run that raid group.

Bring on the backstory

Now previously last week the guild founder, guild master, and raid leader stepped down from his role. This decision came with a bit of a back story in itself. He was upset that back at the end of 2010 he had put together a solid 10-man core raiding roster and through a series of events that resulted in 2 10-man raid teams, he felt he was forced into changing the guild to a 25-man raid group and largely blamed myself and another DPS officer for this. Sufficient to say the 25-man raid team was an utter failure and a lot of time was lost on Firelands because we were trying to get a 25-man roster put together. TLDR, we scrapped the 25-man idea and went back to 2 10-man teams. It was decided on the on-set of creating those teams that we’d look at raid composition and break up the core 10-man group from the beginning so there were experienced raiders in both groups. The groups were broken up such that there were about 5 core members in each team with 5 additional members from the people we recruited along the way. The first week of raiding, Group 1 got 2/7 right away and getting good progression on Alysrazor, while Group 2 (the group I was in) struggled to get down any bosses. I received many concerned whispers from the DPS officer that we were again in a situation of being in the “fail group”, to which I had to reassure her that these were natural growing pains and that once the group came together we’d be on the same level as the other group. Wouldn’t you know, sure enough, week 2 came around and we quickly executed kills on 3/7 with 4/7 the following week. Now came the bad news. Because of the quick progression, Group 2 now had the label of being the “core group” and since our GM was in Group 1 which wasn’t as far along, this was seen as the “fail group”. Because of this and his frustrations over past issues with changes to the groups from 1 10-man to 2 10-mans to a 25-man back to 2 10-mans, he decided to step down from raiding and passed the reins to myself and the Tank officer to co-GM the guild.

Now this by itself wasn’t a bad thing. I felt that I could work well with the other co-GM and that we’d approach situations carefully and thoughtfully to ensure that 1) the guild progressed, 2) that both groups would be given the best changes for success.

Which brings us back to last night

There were a few early warning signs that I saw that us scrambling to get Group 1 raid up and running was going to run into some issues. The first is that the former GM was going to tank for that group. Now this raises initial concerns because his internet isn’t that great, so tanking with a less than reliable internet connection can mean a lot of senseless wipes. He knows this which is why he changed his main from a tank to a DPS where internet lag is much more forgiving. The second were the early tells I was getting from the former GM saying things to the effect of “it doesn’t look good” and “we’re short a lust”. To this I rallied the other officers who were on into a Vent channel to talk about what our options were. To my questions both in Vent and in Officer chat, I got nothing. This should have been a big red flag, and I have to admit, initially I was of the opinion that perhaps they aren’t saying anything because they don’t want to give up anything in this group. If we can’t scrap together a raid team with the other people that were on, we certainly aren’t going to volunteer anyone from Group 2 to fill in the void or make that group stronger at least for the short term. The last sign I had was from the DPS officer, who I approach about a lack of lust for Group 1, and was met with the attitude of “they have options” even of this options put that group into the same situation as what both she and I had faced in our previous raid situation where we were just given the leftovers and expected to make the most of it. In those situations I felt like the begger boy who was saying “please sir, can I have some more” to getting more quality raiders verses just the scraps. Now here were are in the opposite situation and now that person is saying “well they have options” instead of the receiving perspective which would have been “they don’t care that we succeed because they aren’t making sacrifices to their Group in favor of success across both teams”. This had to be the biggest point of surprise and frustration as I had not expected this from someone who I thought had similar core principles as mine that say fairness and looking out for both groups should be paramount if the interest of the guild is to have 2 10-man teams. Or the alternative is that the guild just consolidates to one core 10-man and allows the other members to form up on their own or leave.

Group 2 progressed that night ending with 3/7 with good attempts on Beth’tilac, while Group 1 only got 1/7 and struggled with getting one of the easiest bosses down. I received some indications during the night in the form of whispers and comments that lead me to look at my position as co-GM and taking on the responsibility of the welfare of the guild and both raiding teams and having to speak out with the other officers to take some time to consider our actions and what adjustments we can/should make to ensure that last night didn’t repeat.

And let the attacks begin

I generally see myself as a fairly level headed person. I approach situations calmly and in most cases without emotions to look at the problem and focus on the solution. The problem was addressing the holes that existed in their group this week and making tonight a more productive night. But instead I’m met with what amounts to scorn that the problem is less than what I’m making it out to be, and more accepting to the reality of the situation (that real life took 1 tank and 1 heals out of the equation). Now let me remind folks that this previously happened to me when I was running the second group and the general consensus between myself and the DPS officer was that it’s up to the GM to help address those staffing issues. Now being in the reverse situation, the acceptance took center stage and that the group had to come to the reality of the situation and accept that there would be sub-par performance while this real life issue was going on. My main point here was “Are we as the guild officer core doing all that we can to make this a better situation so both groups have success”? Isn’t that ultimately the responsibility of the GM to look after this? After all if the GM doesn’t who does?

Let’s just say that my points were met with a lot of defensive comments and towards the end I just had enough of being brow beaten and to be honest disappointed that the DPS officer who I have come to see as a friend ended up not demonstrating the same care and passion while under a difficult situation as she is in a position to affect it.

The conclusion

I concluded that I am probably not the best person for the co-GM role as my views were not aligned with that of the other GM and DPS officer. I have since stepped down from the officer core, and in fact quit the guild all together. This comes with a heavy heart, but after last night’s performance and responses, I no longer feel that this is a situation that is worth the tremendous time commitment that it has on my week. Had it been more of a situation of understanding and care, I think the end result would have turned out better. Let’s face it, many times in life the choices that leaders have to make don’t always end in a positive situation. There’s a famous saying from Lincoln that resonates this point very well:

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

Most people now know this quote by replacing instances of “fool” with “please”. In my case, I would say please is more appropriate in this instance, but fool also works. Some of the times we have to make the shitty decisions, and in the end there are winners and losers, and people with hurt feelings. Now it’s our job as good leaders to make the pain as manageable as we can, but in this case, I don’t feel that we approached this with the view that we want to fix it. The view I got was that we are going to keep Group 2 together and solid and Group 1 will need to be dealt with separately. While I can agree with this approach in principle, what it lacks is the learning that we experienced just several months back where the guild was in the same tough situation with two raid groups.

If ever the saying “assumptions make an ass at of you and me” held true, I believe yesterday night was the same. Assumptions were made on both sides, and they can be the death of a good meeting. Interestingly enough, I came across a post this morning from Psychology Today that had an interesting exercise:

Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try to add up the following numbers as quickly as you can. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

The idea here is that our brains are wired to make assumptions even with data that is clear and present but how it’s organized to the reader. If anything held true to last night I felt this was a good example of what I felt in talking with my other guildies. Yes the numbers look like they will add up to 5000, but your not looking at all the facts and considerations.

TL:DR, if I had to do this over again, I think the lessons learned suggest that a guild like this cannot survive as more than 1 10-man raid team. The competition is fierce in WoW, and within a guild the competition can get the better of us. The desire to success has always driven us to higher heights, but can also lead us to more treacherous falls. The guild needs to know it’s own identity and what it’s mission is and execute that. And while it comes with a heavy heart to leave WoW after many years of enjoyment, struggles, pains, and successes, I look forward to the next chapters, whether they are in another MMO or in other activities.

Don’t let this fool you though, I still plan on keeping my WoW account around! My new priest is a ton of fun to play and I intend to continue playing that in my off periods. But I think for the time being I am going to step back from raiding and leading in game and just take some time to decompress.